We Have a New Site

We Have Launched!

The blog page has become a real web site.

 You can look there for new postings since July!

 This is the last move as far as I can predict   : )

Come visit us!

OUR NEW SITE:  

http://www.peacefulfamilies-act.org

-Kelly

Changes are Coming Soon

Just a brief post to let everyone know that we are going to launch a new website for this blog. Mike Valler has joined with Peacefulfamilies to create a new website for the work we have already done and to extend the content. Mike is involved in many different roles to reduce violence. He is also a member of the ACT Raising Safe Kids network.

The new site will be a permanent home. He has exciting ideas and I can hardly wait to share with you the work he has done.  Look for the announcement and link!

Kelly M Champion PhD

Teen Dating Violence

Recently there was a brutal murder of a promising adolescent girl alleged to have been committed by her talented and promising former dating partner. The event sent a chill down many a spine. Two families that have had close ties have been devastated. The fact of interpersonal violence is a difficult thing to wrap our heads around. This is a good thing. I don’t think that we’d be better off if we suspected every adolescent to be at risk for perpetrating serious violence against his or her partner — nor, does the data support holding that belief. Murder is rare and almost impossible to predict because the most rational assumption is that it will not happen. That does not mean that we are helpless to take steps to reduce the chances even further.

The bottom line is that severe aggression is very rare. On average, serious episodes of violence occur around 13 – 14% of time in adolescent dating relationships. These include slapping, shoving, hitting, or being forced into sex according to a Center for Disease Control study (2000). Insults, intimidation, and threats were more common with about 35% of teens reporting this experience. The perpetrators of this aggression are both boys and girls. Really both sexes. Dating violence tends to show up around age 13, although many children report being involved with dating like behavior at age 11.

Prevention of violence or anything for that matter starts with identifying the risk factors.  There are many factors and some of these are ones parents and care givers have more influence on than others. The ACT-Raising Safe Kids program takes a stand on one of the most important risks: child maltreatment. Children, who are the victims of abuse, are much more likely to be involved in violent relationships when they grow up because of disruptions in their social and emotional development. Traumatic stress symptoms and problems with empathy both play some role in increased risk for these kids as teenagers (published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology in 2004 by Wolfe, Wekekle, Scott, Straatman, & Grasley).

Does that mean that children from families without violence are safe? Nope. We all have a role because much of our social learning experiences are with peers. Research shown that have high conflict relationships with friends and acquaintances and hostile behaviors increases risk as does involvement with a peers who are aggressive and delinquent. Moreover, holding attitudes that aggression is acceptable in conflictual situations plays an important role in increasing the likelihood that a teen will be in more than one violent dating relationship.  See Williams, Connolly, Pepler, Craig, & Laporte in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2008).

What does this mean to us in our homes with our children? To me it means that every conflict that you have with anyone in your home or your community is an opportunity for teaching. We are modeling for our children every day how to show anger and how to manage it. We have a chance to show them how to see conflict from  both sides and generate solutions that are responsive and respectful. We can help them to listen to each other by listening to them. There are some earlier posting on anger and conflict. It is really important to realize that lots of research is showing that children learn how to manage conflict at home with their siblings and their parents.

What can we do when our kids are teens and dating? We can listen to them. We can not offer advice but listen to their thinking. Let them describe what they are feeling without judgement. It is might increase the chances that they will let you know that they are not feeling safe. I say increase the chances because we also know that people often do not tell anyone when they have been hurt by someone else. Kids don’t report bullying and victims don’t report violence. They are afraid that no one can help or someone will make the situation worse or they are sure they can handle the situation. There are ways in which those attitudes make sense.

One last word, risk factors don’t explain everything. Murder is rare and usually the result of a whole bunch of unique factors that no one person could or should have anticipated. When a child dies, it is a tragic event.

Kelly M Champion

Science v. Video Games Haven’t Hurt Me: Real Advice for Choosing Video Games for Learning

There was an editorial published by a psychiatrist in the Boston Globe today about his experience with video games. He concurred with the Supreme Court. He goes on to talk about the ways in which violent video games have inspired some of his patients to make connection via on-line and gaming friends that they did not have access to in the bricks and mortar world. He believes that we need to incorporate more video games into education not eliminate access.

Anecdotal evidence, evidence that is based on one or two or even a dozen individual stories, is very weak science. Anecdotal evidence is typically only accepted as a sound scientific argument when we do not have larger studies that account for the many many other factors influencing the outcome. Here is an example of anecdotal evidence that many of us can understand as weak: My grandparents both lived to nearly 80 even though both were regular smokers. Would that compel you to believe that cigarettes do not change the risk for lung cancer and emphysema? I hope not.

There is a ton of research on violent video games and children. The compelling research is based on sound developmental and cognitive psychology. It recognizes the complex nature of risk for violent behavior and the fact that excessive violent behavior is, thankfully, rare. Good science attempts to recognize inherent limitations and to support individuals in making informed judgements. Eliminating violent video games absolutely reduces the risk that a child or teen will engage in violent behavior, violent fantasies, and pro-violent attitudes. Will it eliminate the risk? No. Will it cause violent behavior in every case? No. Exposure to violence increases the risk. More time devoted to it = more risk and less negative emotional reactions to it. Things we are exposed to are more attractive than if we had never been exposed to them. There are some things that we are not meant to feel okay with or attracted to because they are  morally wrong and/or not adaptive such as suicide and homicide.

Dr. Craig A. Anderson has devoted his career to studying video games and kids. His recommendations to parents include a great deal of information on what to buy and how to choose games. He fits in very well with the ACT_Raising Safe Kids Program because his advice is respectful of parents as experts on their children. He has clear recommendations and has made his research and other accessible. http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/~caa/

It is worth your time to be familiar with some of the science. You will be met with challenges. Today, you may have control over the access that your child has to video games but that is not the end. You need to be able to make your thinking clear to your neighbors and to your family. You will need to be able to be clear with your child and to help your child make choices as she gets older and has gets access to these games outside your home.

Teach for Life!

Kelly